Archive trawling has uncovered the following relating to a performance called “Ten things I hate about Wales” from 2004. I’m not sure if they were ever said in the performance, one thing i do remember was unwrapping and playing a mint copy of Trunk Records reissue of Barry Gray’s theme to the UFO TV series. This was written before self publishing became everybody’s daily activity…

TEN THINGS, PART ??? 25/9/04

a- the ‘10 things i hate’ format is a media construct

b – one of the dumbing constructs particularly prevelent where choice is limited

c – wales has no choice of printed media (last lost when Post & w.mail came under same ownership.)

d – conditions of entry into the ‘free’ press include unrealistically high financial burdens

e – self publishing is an option only to preach only to the converted – wider distribution is confined to being swallowed by predators higher up the food chain (note: wages in Fleet Street prior to Eddie Shah were kept artificially high to prevent challenges to the orthodoxy. Shah was able to enter, but his innovations (for good or bad) were appropriated by the orthodoxy and used against him – he didn’t really care because his goal was essentially the same opportunistic capitalism of his competitors: his message was the same.

F – similarly in performance, innovation is appropriated. The small resources available to the innovators inevitably run dry, and the shrivelled corpse picked over by the orthodoxy.

G – the mistake is to invest any more than is easily replaceable.

H – the only truly renewable resource is ingenuity. True, investment of time that could otherwise be used ‘productively’ may be written off, but at core ingenuity is cost free.

I – ten things i hate is a repudiation of form, of ownership, of product – it may not be democratic: we can always turn the music up, but just cos we shout you down doesn’t mean we don’t agree with what you’re saying, maybe we just don’t like your trousers.

J – we toyed with celebrity endorsement, or cooperation, but namedropping is a shallow option. Flashing lights should only be used to scare crows.

K – bribery of critics to stay away was an explored option, but irony is a dangerous and ultimately unsatisfying game. The buck stops in print. The editors decision is final.

performance hand out…

10 things I hate about Wales

– An after dark audience with Good Cop Bad Cop

On 12 June 2004, Wales’ premier Sunday newspaper, ‘Wales on Sunday’, announced to a stunned nation that 47% of the Welsh population planned to support the English Football team in Euro 2004. In depth punditry interpreted their shock finding as a sign that Wales was maturing as a nation. No longer do we, or at least 47% of us, hold a churlish, reactionary, or defensive attitude to our powerful neighbour. No, we Welsh of the C21st, proud and confident in our own identity, perhaps safe in the knowledge that only an international miscarriage of justice has ruined our chances of lifting the cup, we Welsh can be magnanimous to the English. A cheery pat on the back, thumbs up and best wishes to Beckhams’ Boys. Mmmm,

‘Wales on Sunday’, football, ‘maturity’?

Bollocks.

But it did start us thinking. What might be the signs of the ‘maturing’ of Wales? What, in fact, does maturity mean?

One obvious indicator of maturity is surely the ability to take constructive criticism. To test – and hopefully celebrate – this current climate of maturity, Good Cop Bad Cop (GCBC) present

’10 things I hate about Wales’

Reviving Channel Four’s innovative ‘After Dark’ discussion format, colliding it with a 10^th anniversary remix of Das Wunden’s ‘Caucus’ and repackaging it in the current theatre packing ‘An Audience With’ format.

(I have to confess to being one of the 53%)

1. Defeatism – ‘might have been-ness’

2. Tribal politics – whatever happened to radicalism?

3. Media

4. Transport

5. Heritage – castles, coalmines and choirs

6. Addrodd

7. Waste disposal – from slag to fly-tipping

8. Weak beer – no longer such a problem, the problem now is that it’s 10 pints of strong lager.

9. Cardiff Bay

10. The Arts Council

11. Criticism – a small nation leaves little room to hide for those who seek to disagree (3 above)

12. the neighbours – no, i’m not taking about engerland, i do mean the old bag next door – i’m not ageist – olwen is fantastic

(N.B. This isn’t about hatred at all. It’s about tolerance and intolerance. It’s about embracing difference, not for it’s own sake, but because there are people who, through thought and consideration, come to ways of being that have a sympathy, and empathy, with the world and the people around them. Unfortunately there are others who believe that the world that exists has them at the centre. We believe they are deluded. We believe It to be the duty of society to confront them.

The provocations are about Wales, not the Welsh – we like many before and after us, would struggle with what that term may mean. Whilst we are obviously talking about human traits, or human constructions, we do not ascribe the comments to anyone who may, or may not, choose to call themselves Welsh.